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I'm a Aussie guy new to London and a lawyer by trade. Funny. Smart. Charming & full of shit and think It's fair to say I'm morally flexible and recklessly impulsive.
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My personal life is a total shambles, probably very much because of this.
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Now days, I always get really nervous when women see me naked for the first time, because usually they run from the park, screaming.
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I always watched porn films backwards as a youngster, so naturally I thought it normal to vacuum cum off a girl's face, break her washing machine and then leave wearing a tool belt.
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But luckily:
I have a memory of an elephant. Because I once went to the zoo, where I saw an elephant.
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However:
Gay sex had always been wrong in my eyes. Then one day someone told me its supposed to be up the bum, not in an ocular cavity. Gee I felt silly.
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I didn't feel silly the day I couldn't decide whether to have mum buried or cremated, so I decided to just let her live.
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That will do.
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